Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
You can scream your obsidian obsession
in my ear only
and safely mock me from a distance
like God once did
before I  rattled the stars
perfectly out of the sky.

I showed the world simple pearls.
Not lonely plasma rigged together,

by science and gravity.
The oceans took them home,

and our heads turned to the waves.
With no illusions of grandeur,

He was left alone, like each of us.
Compelled to stare at fish,

orbiting the sun.
I would love comments or criticism.
Add a Comment:
pomohippie7 Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2012   Writer
Your wonderful work has been showcased here: [link] :)
Eremitik Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2011
This poem brings to mind dawn and sunset, the passing of time and the splendor of gazing upon the stars and the horizon.

Another poem I enjoyed. Once again, I wouldnt use punctuation. As I read this, I found the punctuation not necessary to the flow of the lines or to help differentiate between the breaks.
LadyofGaerdon Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2011  Professional Writer
I have no idea what this means but I find it lovely anyway.
CapitolReal Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2011
One word reverberates through my mind as I read this. "Movement" I imagine movement itself speaking this poem. After a few times reading it over I feel like it may be the sun talking. "I showed the world simple pearls" could be interpreted as the particles from an exploding star. "By science and gravity. The oceans took them home" I imagine the oceans of gravity's movement bringing all the particles necessary for us together, essentially mothering us into existence.
RussianTim Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2011  Student Writer
Interesting. This is a well thought out interpretation. I love hearing the ideas that poetry can create in readers.
realta2aimitis Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
:blackrose: If I'm interpreting this right I'm guessing you are talking about the constellation or zodiac Pisces
RussianTim Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2011  Student Writer
Although not exactly what I was talking about your interpretation is interesting and actually fits very well with the elemental theme I have been on since pisces is a water sign. Funny how one interprets poetry. I never thought of that meaning until now and now i'm seeing all kinds of zodiac symbolism.
Add a Comment:

:iconrussiantim: More from RussianTim

Featured in Collections

Literature, Writing Tips, etc. by LadyofGaerdon

words by TheKerwinator

More from DeviantArt


Submitted on
August 2, 2011
File Size
645 bytes


15 (who?)


Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.