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This was a lesson in just how quiet it can be
when you don't make enough noise.

Me, holding a toy gun to a stranger's head
"Remember when things stopped being ridiculous?"

You, eating dandelions in a midnight field
"About the same time things stopped making sense."

A boy in church camp carved a small crucifix
for his arts and crafts project. He won the blue
ribbon and a brand new Bible.  The next morning
I found it hanging over our cabin door.
A toad was nailed to the cross.
Still breathing.
Still breathing.

Sometimes we wake up early enough to hide the evil from our world.
Still breathing.
Wow! My second DD. This is great. Thank you to the readers and those who suggested this piece. I'm very grateful.

Va'eira is Hebrew for "and I appeared". The first part of this poem is based on a conversation that I had with a good friend of mine a few years ago. The second part is why I stopped going to vacation Bible camp when I was 13. But ultimately, this mean so much more as a whole to me. Hope you like. Critiques are welcome.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-10-12
Nothing comes close to exemplifying the poignancy and power of this writer's words than the opening and closing stanzas and the cruelty that is wedged between them. Va'eira by *RussianTim ( Featured by Nichrysalis )
:iconfantom125:
fantom125 Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014
Love the end. Still breathing!-)
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:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DailyLitDeviations in a news article that can be found here: dailylitdeviations.deviantart.… Congratulations on your DD!

Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article. Keep writing and keep creating.
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:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hi there! Just a note to let you know I've featured this piece in my 2012 showcase of literature: [link] :D
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:iconpossumfan:
PossumFan Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is really good. I like it. :)

+ fave
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:iconcrematedman:
CrematedMan Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012  Student Writer
I personally think the last repetition is overkill, either that or you ought to explore the poem further (just my opinion).

Nonetheless, potent imagery, lending an ironic sense of humour to depravity.
Reply
:iconrussiantim:
RussianTim Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2012  Professional Writer
I revised this and many of my other poems before I published them. I agree that the last line wasn't really needed and I took all but one of the "still breathing"s out in the final draft. Thank you for the comment!
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:icondragonpixies:
dragonpixies Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Pretty beautiful, and the hebrew gets you bonus points with me!
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:iconrussiantim:
RussianTim Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you very much :)
Reply
:iconcyclonekitty1818:
CYCLONEKITTY1818 Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
like the poetry. check out mine and tell me what u like about it
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:iconmeeya-san:
Meeya-san Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012
Awesome~
Reply
:iconmanic-goose:
manic-goose Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Professional General Artist
Stunning images here, I wish I could capture feelin the way you do.
Reply
:iconadolfreinhardaddict1:
AdolfReinhardAddict1 Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
wow. really nicely done. :nod:
Reply
:iconrlkirkland:
rlkirkland Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Some of life's most disturbing content arrives uninvited in contexts that make them more.
Powerfully written.
Reply
:iconsumarlegur:
sumarlegur Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
this is lovely.
Reply
:iconrussiantim:
RussianTim Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you :)
Reply
:iconstudiorhapsody:
StudioRhapsody Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
intriguing!
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:iconobsidian-nightfall:
Obsidian-Nightfall Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Student Writer
Much deserved DD friend, well done.
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:iconrussiantim:
RussianTim Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you sir!
Reply
:iconobsidian-nightfall:
Obsidian-Nightfall Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012  Student Writer
My pleasure.
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012   General Artist
Congratulations on the DD, dear sir! Your writing never ceases to captivate and inspire me:heart:
Reply
:iconrussiantim:
RussianTim Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you :) :)
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012   General Artist
My pleasure! :D
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012   General Artist
My pleasure! :D
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012   General Artist
My pleasure! :D
Reply
:iconastercrow:
astercrow Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012   General Artist
that second to last line carries so much weight. i can't help but sit here and think, reflect and wonder on my own terms.
Reply
:iconcristinewakesuphappy:
cristinewakesuphappy Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
congratulations!
i suppose this is your second DD if i remember right.
more to come.

this is my gift to you: :trophy: hope you like it.


Reply
:iconrussiantim:
RussianTim Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you very much :)
Reply
:iconsprinklesschmake:
Sprinklesschmake Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012
whoa.
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:iconhalcyonshores:
halcyonshores Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Every line beautifully counts. Sincerest congrats to you.
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:iconrussiantim:
RussianTim Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you :)
Reply
:iconhalcyonshores:
halcyonshores Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:rose:
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:iconshannon-sweeney:
Shannon-Sweeney Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Congrats on the DD. :aww:
Reply
:iconrussiantim:
RussianTim Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you :)
Reply
:iconwordeea:
wordeea Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
congratulations on the DD! so well deserved :)
Reply
:iconrussiantim:
RussianTim Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012  Professional Writer
Thanks! :)
Reply
:iconnyiana-sama:
Nyiana-sama Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012
:la: Congrats on the daily deviation!
Reply
:iconchococoatedlemons:
ChocoCoatedLemons Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012
That was such a cruel part, about the toad. Brilliantly written.
Reply
:iconjennifermulkerrin:
JenniferMulkerrin Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Professional Photographer
very good!
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:iconsomersetholmes:
somersetholmes Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012
Superb :clap:
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:iconlit-twitter:
Lit-Twitter Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012
Chirp, congrats on the DD, it's been twittered. [link] :)
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:iconbrassteeth:
brassteeth Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012
Wonderful. I fine example of the art of words and places and textures and sounds. So much value in every line. Congratulations on the D.D.
Reply
:iconozzla:
ozzla Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2012   Writer
This strikes me as a prosetry. Yes, I know that's a hard form to pin down, but this piece just has that more narrative feel to it than an all-out hyperbole of description, yeah? I don't mean to mock more poetic forms, but that's the largest difference I see between your piece and others.

My two favourite things about this piece is that of how the two parts of conversation are linked together, even though the scenes they're a part of seem completely different. Secondly, is that of the last stanza, which is where to make an obvious link to the moral coda of this piece.

If there's several more comments other than mine that you get around this time, you'll have to thank *Sammur-amat for the wonderful exposure she's giving people :)
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:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner May 28, 2012   General Artist
Ha! The sad irony of it all. Congratulations on the well deserved DLD! :clap:
Reply
:iconwordeea:
wordeea Featured By Owner May 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
damn religion. this is excellent!

congratulation on the DLD!
Reply
:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner May 27, 2012
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DLD (Daily Literature Deviations) in a news article that can be found here [link]
Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article.

Keep writing and keep creating.
Reply
:iconartbennyrgrau:
ArtBennyRGrau Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
his was very haunting and makes you think of a quaint place we go to
before cruelty of how people can be, how someone can turn it around on you
ina split second carving those quiet moments into something messed up.
Its like a sniper game I played that had messages like
"bloodlust is in your dna" "sniper games are a healthy addiction" while the point is to kill the smokers which the author is in itself refferencing as a bad habbit of making the targets in most games a smoker. ok bad example but you get the gist of it XD
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:iconbeyondjen:
BeyondJen Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I like this. That opening verse is stellar, but the narrative in this is poignant.
It's all very ironic to me.
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:iconrussiantim:
RussianTim Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2012  Professional Writer
Thanks you!
Reply
:iconbeyondjen:
BeyondJen Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Welcomes, you! =]
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